True story

So I was going through airport security today with the shinbone of a cow in my bag. As the bag went through the x-ray machine, the Homeland Security dude did a double take.

HS: Sir, is this your bag?

Me: Yup.

HS: What's in it?

Me: A cow bone.

HS: What is that, like a vase or something?

Me: No, it's literally the bone of a cow.

HS: (Face goes blank. Pauses for two seconds. Starts to walk my bag to the bag-search crew. Three steps in, pauses again, laughs, turns back to me.) Okay, you can have it.

Me: Thanks!

HS: (Under his breath, as I'm walking away.) "Literally the bone of a cow." (Chuckles.)

Go somewhere else!

It has come to my attention that some people looking me up online are discovering this blog first. What a tragedy! Unless you're here for dissection pictures. But otherwise, all the action is at my other two blogs: Sauropod Vertebra Picture of the Week, which I share with distinguished Brits Drs. Michael P. Taylor and Darren Naish; and my newly-launched 10 Minute Astronomy blog, which you should make it your mission in life to slavishly follow. So stop wasting your time...unless it was dissection pictures after all, in which case, click the link above and prepare to force down your gorge.